How does one write wedding vows?

The below is an excerpt from it that hopefully gives you some helpful advice on writing your vows—good luck!

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If you and your fiancé have agreed to write vows, you’ll need to put your promises on paper. There is technically no wrong way to do this, but we’ve developed an approach that should set you up for success. Step by Step was a “modestly amusing” television series starring Patrick Duffy and Suzanne Somers (Variety, 1991), and it’s also a great way to approach writing your vows. Follow the outline at right for a fail-proof, bona fide tear-jerker that will leave both your partner and your guests happy-crying on the big day.

The Basic Anatomy of Wedding Vows:

Now that you know the basic structure for your vows, it’s time to get into the details. Follow these pro tips (especially the part about this not being the time or place to finally debut the stand-up comedy routine you’ve been practicing in your head for three years—trust us on this one), and show everyone exactly why you are marriage material.

1. STUDY UP - Read some traditional vows—these could be of any religion or culture. You can also YouTube vows written by couples to get a feel for the length and structure. Think about the kinds of promises these couples are making to one another.

2. REFLECT ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP - Get sentimental. Gather 5 to 10 of your favorite memories from your time together: what drew you to your partner, the ways you’ve supported each other, and why you think you’ll make a great husband.

3. TONE IS IMPORTANT - It’s great to throw in a quick, good-natured joke, but this isn’t the time to channel your inner Seinfeld (“What’s the deal with the little flowers on my jacket?”). Ideally, your vows will be equal parts touching, funny, and hopeful for your future.

4. MAKE SOME PROMISES - Finesse those memories and ideas into promises. Three or four should do it.

5. OUTLINE IT - Make an outline. Feel free to map out your vows as you see fit.

6. EDIT WHAT YOU JUST WROTE - Remove 90 percent of the inside jokes you find, and remove anything that would embarrass you, your family, and, most importantly, the bride.

7. QUALITY, NOT QUANTITY! - Err on the side of brevity. So edit, edit, and edit some more.

8. MAKE A CLEAN COPY - Does it look good? Great! Print out a shiny new, legible copy and keep the draft on your computer for further edits and more copies.

9. PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT - Find a mirror and read your vows aloud. If something is clunky or off, you’ll hear it as you read. Make notes as you go for minor adjustments. Then do it again with the changes.

10. MAKE YOUR FINAL COPY, AND PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK - Even if you decide to memorize them, keep a copy of your vows on you during the ceremony just in case.

11. EXTRA CREDIT - On your wedding day, remember that you’re just talking to your fiancé. Don’t let the (possibly hundreds of) other humans steal your focus—you wrote this for your partner.